Washington: PY60780204
California: PSY14102
We think it makes sense to protect ourselves from pain, but our self-protection ends up causing us deeper pain.
—Norman Fischer, American poet, writer, and Soto Zen priest
Individual Therapy
Common Concerns:
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Anxiety & panic
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Depression
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Pain from childhood
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Post-traumatic reactions
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Body Image & eating concerns
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Climate anxiety & political overwhelm
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Low self-esteem, self-criticism, & self-doubt
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Feelings of shame & guilt
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Poor self-care
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Trouble setting boundaries
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Work-life balance
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Grief & Loss
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Compulsive problems (e.g., food, shopping, scrolling, overworking)
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Life transitions (e.g., job change, becoming a parent, aging)
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Abuse history
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Developing a vision for the future
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Problems unique to academia
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Autism Spectrum
My clients enter therapy feeling stuck. Therapy provides a path of healing, a means of finding the ease, peace, and equanimity they seek in life.
How we approach your journey of healing will depend on a number of factors. Among these is what dilemma you bring. Perhaps you are struggling with a difficult decision, faced with imperfect options, and wish to make the wisest, most self-honoring choice.
Or it might be a longstanding pattern that is unhealthy and yet so hard to change; after all, if it were easy to change, you would have done so already.
You might use food, overworking, scrolling, spending, getting into unhealthy relationships, and other behaviors to avoid or distract from overwhelming feelings. You might find yourself ensconced in guilt, self-doubt, or self-blame, or you might have trouble setting boundaries with others. Your self-care may be poor or all but absent. Perhaps you beat yourself up over even minor things, or treat yourself in a manner you wouldn’t dream of treating anyone else.
When Pain Comes from Childhood
Our most painful patterns tend to originate in childhood. Whether positive or negative, our early experiences occur during a period of rapid brain development, and are etched in our nervous systems. Painful experiences don’t need to involve abuse or trauma to have lasting effects; they are worthy of exploration simply because you’re hurting.
When there is neglect or emotional, sexual or physical trauma — especially when it begins early in life, persists over time, and occurs at the hands of caregivers, whose duty it is to provide protection — one’s ability to regulate emotions and soothe painful feelings in times of stress is deeply compromised.
If children in emotionally overwhelming circumstances don’t have a safe caregiver they can turn to — one who believes, comforts, and acts to protect — the child is on their own to cope with stressors beyond their developmental capacity. Their later ability to cope in healthy ways is greatly diminished..
I believe that unhealthy behavior patterns in adulthood once represented the child's best possible adaptation to survive difficult, even unbearable, circumstances and ensure psychological, sometimes physical, survival. Children will go to any length to gain the love, acceptance, and approval they need from caregivers.
The problem arises when we don’t recognize that these patterns that once served to protect us, albeit imperfectly, are now working against us. Or perhaps we recognize it but find it difficult to change; after all, painful patterns are familiar, and changing them may feel like throwing ourselves into an abyss.
The Process of Therapy: Integrating Mind, Body, and Heart
The foundation of my approach is to help you access the full picture of your experience in body, heart, and mind.
Therapy is an ideal place to begin to explore your suffering with deep compassion, free of judgment. We work not only with your practical, problem-solving mind that has likely been working overtime to find an answer but has come up short, but also your physical sensations and the feelings in your core being.
Our most painful emotions that feel untouchable — sadness, fear, regret, confusion, anger, and envy, to name a few — are workable when held gently. When we quiet the mind and sit with the entirety of our experience, we find the clarity that permits wise action, and a deeper sense of peace and ease.
If my description of this journey in therapy resonates with you, please contact me so that we can discuss your needs.
I look forward to speaking with you!